Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Friday the 13th Part 4 The Final Chapter

FRIDAY THE 13TH:PART 4:THE NOT SO FINAL CHAPTER. Though there are 8 more films in the series, this was the last true Friday. Tom Savini came back to give us some great gore effects, there was some good nudity, and Jason was better then ever. This is what most people bring up about the film, which is all good stuff. But I always think first about the movies sheer terror. You can’t find too many critics who like these type of movies. The only slasher film Roger Ebert ever seemed to think was GREAT was the original Halloween (Which too is fantastic). So no doubt these movies take on a cult following and aren’t for everyone. You’ll like these movies if you enjoys violence, gore, sexuality/nudity, and naughty teens. You will not like it if you are easily offended, and/or think these types of movies are stupid. The plot isn’t super strong, it just takes off where the 3rd one left off, but if you are someone like me you will think this is a horror gem. It displays what a slasher movie should be, and at it’ best. Also it’s a figgin 80s movie, and not just and 80s movie, but an 80s horror movie. No CGI, just pure classic material. The quality and the music is simply eerie, and then there’s a young Corey Feldman (Goonies, Stand By Me).

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Carey More, Camilla More

Jason Voorhees

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Friday the 13th Part 3

Round three in the “Friday” saga has Jason leaving the Crystal Lake area & terrorizing a group a college friends at a remote log cabin for the weekend. The timeline of the film is all over the place. The film starts at dusk on Friday the 13th, but, most of the action takes place on Saturday the 14th with the film ending on dawn, Sunday the 15th. There were three different makeups used for the look of Jason. One was made by monster makeup/effects master Stan Winston, but, wasn’t used. The other two were used for the film. The film crew were such avid hockey fans that a couple of teams formed during filming. When it came time to show Jason in the film, the filmmakers & producers were arguing whether or not Jason should be shown with or without the makeup, the 3-D camera operator/specialist said sarcastically to use his goalie mask that he had with him from practice. The rest is “Friday” history. There were three different endings to “Friday 3-D”. The first was never filmed but remains in the novelazation to the film. Kris finds her friends bodies all in a big pile in the middle of the barn with Jason standing in front of it waiting for her. They fight to the death with Kris winning, cutting Jason’s head off with a scythe. The third ending was filmed, but the footage was lost. Kris wakes up in the canoe she escaped in & sees Rick, her boyfriend (supposedly dead) looking out at her through the window of the cabin smiling. Kris rows to shore running to the cabin, but, when she opens the door stepping inside, Jason surprises her grabbing her & cutting her head off. As Jason goes for the death blow, Kris wakes up in bed, in a cold sweat, screaming. It was all a bad dream.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Traci Savage

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Friday The 13th part 2

This movie, to me represents the pinnacle of the 70s-80s slasher flick. It is by far the scariest and most realistic of the franchise (and perhaps the genre. Hits particular hard for anyone who spent weekends camping w/ friends, partying, etc in the woods of the northeast like i did. There is a genuine feel to this (and Jason) that would be gone after this installment. He is still (potentially) simply a crazy in the woods. This is a good thing.. no tricks or implausible resurrections…. The gritty quality and atmosphere of the film is truly chilling and the acting (for the most part) is actually good. I am a horror fan but a film guy first. I feel that Part 2 is grossly under appreciated for what it is. A fine example in its genre…

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Kristen Baker

Kirsten Baker

Jason Voorhees

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Friday The 13th

Premarital sex in 1958? I’m sure it happened, but probably not often on the major movie screens. That’s how the Friday the 13th movie and series gets started with its first killings. Camp Crystal Lake becomes known as “Camp Blood” to the locals after a boy drowns in 1957 and two camp counselors are bloodily killed the following year. We meet Anne who is going to Camp Crystal Lake to become its cook after the re-opening. Unfortunately, she hitches a ride with the wrong person and never makes it. The story builds from there because we find the victims are not afraid of the killer until it is too late. The killings are very creative and interestingly done. C’mon it IS the first movie after all. There is wonderful photography and a very suspenseful soundtrack. It builds for a great movie, but there are some holes. For example, we are left to wonder who the killer is and why they are killing? However, we are given very few suspects. Crazy Ralph? Steve Christie, the guy who is re-opening the camp? One of the kids? They are summarily dispatched one by one in Friday the 13th fashion. Still, I gave the movie four stars because of Sean Cunningham, Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees (became a present day cult figure with this movie), pretty girls prancing around in skimpy bikinis and underwear, and young Kevin Bacon having premarital sex. It stands on its own merits. Sean S. (“Last House on the Left”) Cunningham produces and directs.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Jeannine Taylor

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CandyMan 1992

Clive Barker, one of the many masters of horror has made yet another brilliant movie. Don’t let the title draw you away as you make think it’s another cheesy movie about a killer who brings you candy. It’s actually a very dark movie with a detailed story and Tony Todd (Candyman) does a great job on his role. Also, there’s a lot more to the story other then saying Candyman in the mirror five times and then boom your dead. The film takes you on a investigation trip through the projects of Chicago in a terrible gang territory place that really existed called Cabrini Green. Yes, I would have to say it’s based upon all those urban legends you hear of such as Bloody Mary. You say Bloody Mary in the mirror 5 times and she appears. As far as I know, they never made a decent movie about Bloody Mary, but they definitely brought the goods for Candyman.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Virginia Madsen

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Final Destination 4

This is a review of the 2D DVD version of the movie – and boy is it ever obvious the whole point (no pun intended) of the movie was to highlight flying sharp objects that cause gruesome deaths in the theatrical 3D format. The story breaks absolutely no new ground, and actually tracks the original year 2000 Final Destination story pretty closely in concept. I mean, substitute race track for airport in the extended opening scene, and the analogy is real obvious. The main characters are two teen couples: Nick (Bobby Campo) the sensitive cautious one who has all the premonition visions; his girl friend, the level-headed, intelligent Lori (Shantel VanSanten); Hunt (Nick Zano) the buff, wise cracking guy ladies man with his lucky coin; and Hunt’s flighty girl friend Janet (Haley Webb). Nick and Lori actually try to reason things through to find a way to beat the Grim Reaper at his own game, while Hunt just cares about where his next “lay” will come from (let’s make best use of the time left!), and Janet vacillates between denial and utter hysteria. I found the characters quite interesting after a while and was curious to see how they were to be dispatched. The movie does manipulates you in building the suspense, letting you down, then suddenly shocking you quickly with, what I have to admit, are some rather creative and gory deaths. The actors are certainly attractive, however the acting is average, and the dialog pretty lame. At 82 minutes the movie did stay interesting – and I do hope this is the last sequel in this played out theme. I’d say the DVD is worth a rental for Horror fans, especially ones following this series.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

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Halloween 2

I wanted to love this movie. At times, Rob Zombie comes close to making a great film with Halloween II, but he keeps stepping on his toes. His aim with this film seems to be to peel back the superficial blood lust and weak characterizations that marked most slasher films since the original Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street films, and bring back what made them terrifying. Sure, there’s gore, but its never cartoonish, opting instead for Michael Myers bludgeoning or stabbing his victims into oblivion, while they beg for mercy. And Zombies Myers is a force of nature, laying waste to everything in his path, even survivors. Of course, both Laurie Strode and Malcolm McDowells Dr. Loomis are back, and completely broken when we find them. Laurie spends the entire movie sinking into madness, similar to her brother Michael (sharing both visions and violent urges), and directs her despair into anger (at those who care for her) or denial (her dark image and her insistence on medication). Meanwhile, Loomis attempts to salvage something from his failures in the first movie by writing an exploitative book about Michael, and unwittingly becoming the films source of (twisted) humor as he goes through the inevitable media circus. The three are headed on a collision course, and Zombie mines it for some great nuggets. So, why don’t I like this movie? Thats what I asked myself right up to the ending, and the answer became clear: Zombie has talent, but hes unfocused. Many of his scenes, especially with Michael and his victims, become repetitive of one another, and he insists on trotting out his love for hillbillies yet again, which gets in the way of his bigger goals, leaving all three of his leads underdeveloped. And his climax falls apart due to an odd use of filters and lighting ruining what should have been a disturbing finale. Halloween II has a brain, but its lack of direction makes it nothing more than a fascinating mess.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Sylvia Jefferies

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Reborn

The actors were very earnest in their appreciation of Craig McMahon–the writer, producer and director–had to give them some credit for that performance. This was a really bad movie and I’m glad that I missed the first movie that this was spawned from. The story centers on a couple who, for some reason, decide to make their fortune owning a junkyard. Apparently he bought it sight unseen because lurking in all the junk is a slob with a slew of video cameras waiting to recruit his next victim to act out his murderous tendencies. The killer is encased in a metal suit–all I could think of was Edward Scissorhands wearing the metal helmet from Saw. The kills, from a gore standard, would have been more interesting if the editing wasn’t so bad. There were a couple of jumpy scares but even that couldn’t help this stinker. Don’t bother with the acting, beyond bad. This guy really shouldn’t be making movies.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 (has its gory scenes)

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Davina Joy

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Jack Hammer Massacre 2004

No synopsis is needed for The Jackhammer Massarce, because it’s exactly what you think. One man, one jackhammer, loads of carnage. This is certainly not a knock on the film, but in fact, praise. Sometimes a good ol’ fashioned “kill um all for no reason” flick is just what the doctor ordered. Director Joe Castro delivers enough aspects to make this craptastic film more tastic than crap. Sure, it reaks of every low budget problem in the book, but that’s all part of the charm of the digital revolution. At least Castro knows how to handle his problems and I would love to see a larger budget in his hands. His smartest move was to cast up and coming horror icon Arron Gaffey in the title role. Wether you like this movie or not, you can’t help but stand up and cheer every time Mr. Gaffey is supplied with fresh viticms. He truly brings back the “fun” to insanity. For a good time, call Jack.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Rachel Rotten

Rachel Rotten

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