Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead 2009

If you were into the first two films as I was, then you will enjoy this inbred splatterfest. A bus load of convicts get loose, stumble upon millions of dollars and, end up cutting the head off the mutant killer’s son and putting it on a pole. Not a smart move. The kill scenes were first rate and really carried what would have been a tired, played out sequel. Axe killings, several arrow killings, stabbing, cut up with sickle, impaled with huge spike, burned alive, wrapped in razor wire, dragged to death, face sliced off, split in three pieces and multiple cannibal scenes will keep you entertained. A must for slasher fans and anyone that has seen the first two…

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Louise Cliffe

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Zombie Night 2003

First, a little warning… there is no way to skip the trailers and previews before the main menu appears. I tried everything, the only button that responded was the eject button. So if you do not chuck a brick at the TV before-hand you will wish you had. This movie… ugh… well to start the characters and story were laughable at best, but I guess that was to match the acting which was so bad that they flubbed some of their lines but just kept filming. The zombies looked good but these zombies must have had some sort of magical powers since anyone touched by a zombie just yells a little then lays down and dies. Joking aside though, this movie was just terrible. There was some gore but can you count using Spaghetti Os as a special effect gore? I cant really recommend this even if you’re a zombie fan. No action, no sense of desperation, nothing redeeming here at all. You will more than likely just grow annoyed with the movie. But, I did learn one thing from this movie. If I’m ever attacked by a few zombies I can block their advance with a few empty orange crates.

Horror Rating 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating 2 out of 5

Sandra Segovic

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Hellraiser 7 Deader

The first and second Hellraiser movies reeled me in because 1). The Cenobites were frighteningly beyond words. 2). The gore was unfathomable. I had never seen anyone lose their skin before or go on a mission to retrieve it! 3). I got my first peak into what I could only imagine hell would REALLY be like. After watching the first two movies I was even too paranoid to play with my Rubik’s Cube, lol. The series has deteriorated significantly enough since. Hellraiser VII: Deader started out promising. There is a scene near the beginning where the main character, a journalist named Amy, is in search of a woman associated with a cult that allegedly can bring people back to life after they commit suicide. Amy enters this woman’s apartment and there are a few genuinely sinister moments (remember the girl in the closet in The Ring and how revolting the house was in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre?). Unfortunately, the movie declines thereafter. The cult needs Amy to sacrifice herself so that the leader can conquer Pinhead’s domain. Since Amy refuses to willingly take her own life, she is stabbed by the leader and ends up in a limbo; wandering in-between worlds with a gaping wound in her chest that won’t stop bleeding. Then there’s a final showdown between the cult leader, Pinhead, and Amy (which realm will Amy select: Pinhead’s, or the cult’s, or?). Some of the makeup and lighting is poor, the Cenobites are barely seen (and not scary!), and what happened to Pinhead’s voice? In early movies he exuded a booming, menacing voice that sent shivers down my spine. Here he sounds like an elderly gentleman demanding a cup of tea (although he’s still a cool character!). Not a BAD movie, but not real scary either.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

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Wrong Turn 2

Well it didn’t have the effect on me that the original did but then again I knew what was coming and I watched it on a Saturday afternoon instead of 3:00 a.m. by myself. I give it credit for using some originality with the reality show storyline and appearances from Henry Rollins and Kimberly Caldwell (only really great surprising killing moment). The biggest problem is this movie went from terrifying to gross and corny like later versions of Texas Chainsaw. I still found some enjoyment in this film but it won’t offer you the jump out of your seat moments but it will give you lots of guts!

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 (Lots of Gore!)

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Crystal Lowe

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Psycho Ward 2008

For starters this movie needs more attractive faces. The camera man couldn’t hold the camera still, and the acting is downright dreadful. If your looking for a movie that shows people actually being murdered rent P2. Psycho Ward provides you with nothing but a good laugh. The killer is overweight, and his mask is ridiculous (he also walks unbelievably slow). The girls  need to learn the basics of sticking together, I mean come on, don’t they know they are in a horror movie? . Psycho Ward is an overall sucky movie, with no blood and no gore, however we do have a very nice boob shot and here it is.

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Eva Redpath

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Hellraiser Hellworld 2005

“Hellraiser: Hellworld” is the 8th installment into the Hellraiser franchise and this time, Director Rick Bota gets it right. After his two flops in the 6th and 7th films of the series, Bota turns to a more conventional approach in this 8th film…and it works. Five friends are all invited to a party in honor of the internet video game Hellworld in a mansion deep in the woods…where they soon find their horror fantasies become a cold reality. One by one, the friends are methodically picked off by Pinhead himself in sinister fashion. Lance Henriksen also stars and was his usual maniacal self in another solid outing for the veteran actor. This film regains what the last 3 had lost…it hearkens to the days of 80′s horror with your typical partying teenagers who go in expecting debauchery and decadence, but get a crude wake up call. The story was very well written and developed, the actors were on the mark, and the ending gave you a very good and unexpected twist that delivers. This is what I have been looking and waiting for since Bloodline. A high recommend, and a nice return to form.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

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