Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

WARNING

If you are easily offended by horrific images and nudity
or if you are under the age of 18 then leave.

Nov 10

Night of the Demons 2009

Night of the Demons 2009

I am a huge fan of the original Night of the Demons. It was just great cheesy gory sleazy fun. And i am glad to say that although the remake isn’t as good as the original, it does recreate alot of what made the original film so good…great special make up and gore effects, more action than plot (who really needs a big overblown plot in a B-movie anyway), and lots of sleaze. The soundtrack is also pretty damn good (I was actually distracted from a decent girl-on-girl scene because of Type O Negative playing in the background!). I was also pleased that it wasn’t a carbon copy of the first movie, yet it didn’t try to completely re-write the entire story (like many of the remakes out there today). All in all it was a really fun Halloween film. If you are a fan of the original, check this one out.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

shannon elizabeth

diora baird

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Oct 31

Teeth 2006

Expecting a low budget campy inde flick, “Teeth” actually has a much higher production value than I expected. The biggest surprise was the laughs. I never found the film horrifying, though it was quite shocking from time to time. It is not the type of film that is going to make you scared to leave home. As a Gore/Comedy I found it absolutely hilarious. The blood squirting was a real riot. What a great concept, “vag*n@ dentata.” I even looked it up on line after the movie. Who would have thought. The plot is rather oblivious and although you see it coming a mile away, I found my hollering “No don’t do it, don’t, no …. OOOHHH!! He did!!” [queue the laughter]. LOL. The film never crosses over into gritty exploitation but it is certain not for every one. The female nudity is limited one tasteful scene, and of coarse there is teen sex. Some scenes are rather graphic (with male privates) but even for those hiding their eyes and peering through fingers, it is much more fun that I expected. “Teeth” is VERY worth watching; if for nothing more than its sheer originality and solid entertainment value.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5 (we are talking multi severed penis here!!)

Boobies rating :1 out of 5

Jess Weixler

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Oct 31

Cat People 1982

“Cat People” is old (1982), tired looking (I’ve yet to hear of a re-mastered release) and has a redundant, home organ sound track that drives me crazy. Yet, after all these years, this is still one of my all time favorite horror movies. Roger Ebert calls it a “Really well realized horror flick.” I’m not exactly sure I know what that means, but I think I agree. The film stars Malcolm McDowell as Paul Gallier and Nastassja Kinski as his sister, Irena. The crux of the story is based in a legion that says, “Eons ago there was a land where humans sacrificed their most beautiful women to leopards. The Leopards then mated with them. Cat People may look human, but they can only mate with other Cat People to sustain their life of a human who can transmorph into a leopard and back. Paul lives in New Orleans with a housekeeper who, knowing the reality of the legion, also acts as his protector and keeper. Irena, raised by foster parents, comes to be with brother but he senses her sexual awakenings and expects an incestuous relationship that will maintain the status quo. When his advances are rejected, a series of events are unleashed that has turned “Cat People” into a cult classic. Some call this a remake of a 1942 classic of the same name. I’ve seen both and disagree. Alan Ormsby did a complete reworking of the script going back to DeWitt Bodeen’s novel for his source material. In my opinion, except for the music, the 1982 version is not just a different motional picture, it’s a far superior motion picture. With McDowell at the height of his weird creepiness and Kinski at the height of her beauty.

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Annette O'Toole

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Oct 04

The Shining 1980

The Shining 1980

“The Shining” is Stanley Kubrick’s cinematic masterpiece of horror from the opening dirge of “Witches Sabbath” and Dies Irae to the horrifying climax that leaves you questioning your own mental acuity and sanity. While it is based on the book by Stephen King, one should not expect it to follow the book…this film belongs to Kubrick and there is little resemblance. When Jack Torrence (Jack Nicholson) accepts a job as caretaker of The Overlook Hotel, he moves his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and son Danny (Danny Lloyd) into the vast and prestigious quarters for the winter…but The Overlook has a deep, ominous secret with a sinister life of its own which invades Jack’s mind and disables his will. The Overlook wants Danny…he has “the shining.” Kubrick uses haunting music, sounds of hearts thudding, loud sniffles and water dripping, a blending of eerie voices and other times, there is complete silence to enhance the horror. The enormous hedge maze and Danny’s big wheel clicking from carpet to bare floor becomes mesmerizing and one never knows what he will “see.” Jack Nicholson is perfect…his facial expressions are the personification of evil…Shelley Duvall has been criticized for her acting but she is the exact opposite of Jack…a needy and somewhat wimpy woman who excels as the horror escalates…Danny Lloyd is an extremely talented young boy whose terror is palpable. Scatman Crothers (Dick Halloran) and Danny have one of the most memorable scenes in the film. The first viewing of this film is a terrifying experience but if you have seen it multiple times as I have, it becomes more of a glimpse into the intricate mind of Stanley Kubrick. For horror fans, this is definitely a must see and once is definitely not enough. One of my all time favorites.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 Here’s Johnny!!!

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Lia Beldam

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May 02

Laid to rest 2008

What can ya do when you wake up in a “box” and don’t know who you are and somebody is trying to make you dead? *giggle* I thought the main girl Bobbi Sue Luther was off her rocker and a really bad actress at first. In fact I was wondering if the bad guy had given her some sort of lobotomy. Nah, nothing that complicated. In fact this is your very basic slasher, they don’t pay much attention to the why’s and what for’s here but they sure get the kills and gore right. This is as much a mean and nasty homage to the slashers of old that I’ve seen in quite a while. They totally get that right. Even though quite a few of the old time hack and slash came with a tiny kernel to wrap your mind around, ie: revenge, mommy issues or just flat out soulless black hearts this one updates for 2000′s. It’s the old I like to make snuff flicks trick. Hall mixes hand held views with clear shots and scans like jellybeans and it all works to keep the look updated and gives it a you are there feel. This actually contains fine performances for a slasher. Chromeskull may look a little silly with his shiny chrome mask but he’s downright tricky with a nasty hunting knife. He’s also the proud owner of some pretty cool and tricked out cars. If you are a fan of the mindless slasher and I am, this is a cool watch since Robert Hall’s company does great gore.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Seri Deyoung

Bobbi Sue Luther

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Apr 26

To Sleep With a Vampire 1993

To sleep with a Vampire 1993

The infamous uncredited remake of “Dance of the Damned.” Much of the dialogue is word for word with “Dance of the Damned.” So much so that you might think they used the same script, but the credits indicate otherwise. As closely modeled after “Dance of the Damned” it is, the overall feel is so very different. In “Dance of the Damned” as these two characters share their lives, you discover that they are more alike than the mere surface reveals. In the end, you wish they could somehow fill a void in each other so that both could live. In “To sleep with a vampire,” it seems as though they spend the whole time comparing their pain to one another as if they were competing on who’s life sucks more. In the end, you dislike them both and wouldn’t care if both died, for neither has a good reason to live. What changes there are seem to be there to explain the plot to you more clearly. If only someone would have just explained it to the writer, for they just didn’t get it. For some of the plot points, just don’t make any sense in the context they placed it. The cinematography is probably the one improvement over “Dance of the Damned,” but it’s the only thing. It’s a real shame that this is on DVD and “Dance of the Damned” has yet to be released on DVD.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 5 out of 5

Charlie Spradling

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Charlie Spradling

Ingrid Vold

Stephanie Hardy

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admin on April 26th, 2011 | File Under Dracula Movie, Homicidal Horror Movie, Slasher Movies | No Comments -

Apr 25

The Mephisto Waltz 1971

Cheeseball 70′s Satanism (which mainly infers a very complicated version of wife-swapping), mixed with tv-movie production values and late 60′s visual weirdness, plus a cast who went on to better things equals… well, not a scarefest, but an interesting look back at nostalgia. Produced by Quinn Martin (who did the shows THE FUGITIVE, THE INVADERS, CANNON, BARNABY JONES), who’s not known for frightening audiences, and it shows – the (great) score by Jerry Goldsmith does all of the heavy lifting in providing scares. It does, however, feature a Devil Dog five years before THE OMEN made it fashionable, child actress Pamelyn Ferdin (who doesn’t get much screentime and who’s killed off rather quickly), and Alan Alda & Jackie Bisset before they got really famous. It also seems to infer the moral, “If you can’t beat ‘em – join ‘em!” which may not be the thing to take away from a picture concerning Satanism. But it’s not like it advocates it either. Anyway, you’ll either be enthralled by the cheese factor, or fighting to stay awake through the ‘tension’.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Jacqueline Bisset

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Apr 24

Automaton Transfusion 2006

Automaton transfusion 2006

Long hyped, low budget zombie film finally makes its shambling debut on video… and what an utter disappointment. This is so lackluster I hardly know where to begin. Does one start with the utterly retarded setup (fast forward to the 27 minute mark to skip the stunted hormonal teen setup) or the community theater quality acting or the broadly sketched characters who make one stupid decision after another or the annoying hand-held camera work (Ive not seen this much stomach turning visuals since the Gibson/Busey fight at the end of LETHAL WEAPON) or how about the HUGE leaps in internal (and common sense) logic that transpire. There are TWO good FX gags in the entire film, but theyre hardly sitting through this pile of cinematic excrement to see. And dont even get me started on the insulting ending And to think, its rumored there are more installments of this drivel to look forward to. If this over-hyped, slapdash production is whats considered to be a decent horror film these days, I weep for the genre.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Juliet Reeves

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admin on April 24th, 2011 | File Under Homicidal Horror Movie | No Comments -

Feb 13

The Funhouse 1981

Tobe Hooper is one of the most overlooked directors of the 70′s/80′s. The man behind “Texas Chainsaw..”, “Eaten Alive”, “‘Salem’s Lot”, “Poltergeist”, “Lifeforce” and this little gem needs more props. This is an otherwise forgettable early 80′s fluff horror piece if it weren’t for Hooper’s unique touch. The carnival has massive potential to be creepy. Here, four friends decide to hang around all night in the funhouse and get more than they expected. Kevin Conway’s funhouse barker is a man with a secret. His adult son who helps him with the show strangely wears a mask at all times and has a horrid limp. The four teens who crash the funhouse find out why and when they do..yikes. He’s a deformed freak who’s prone to violent rages. The movie goes somewhat to standard formula after that, but in the end, I started to rally for the freak to win out..even though you know the outcome. When it’s over, I actually felt sorry for the monster. Then I wanted to go back and see the scenes where he was peacefully walking around the carnival with his mask on..buying popcorn and helping his dad. Odd I realize..but that’s good film making. The ability to make a sympathetic character out of nothing.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

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Feb 13

2001 Maniacs

Gory to the extreme with stupid Southern stereotypes (in a good way) and chicks running around in almost nothing and Robert Englund given free rein to riff as much as he wants to. It’s the story of three guys who are heading down to Florida for spring break when they take a “detour” in the road and find themselves in Pleasant Valley. They’re soon joined by two girls, a gay guy, a black guy and a Chinese girl, setting up all sorts of gay and racial jokes as the Southerners take offense and take some meat for their jubilee. There’s sex with goats (off screen), impaling, crushing, dismemberment and a guy getting the worst oral sex ever (think: metal braces). Great (esp. considering the budget) make-up and effects. Not for the squeamish but a must for people who like intentionally funny and gory movies like Dead Alive.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Bianca Smith

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Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Night of the Demons 2009

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Teeth 2006

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Cat People 1982

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The Shining 1980

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Laid to rest 2008

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To Sleep With a Vampire 1993

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Automaton Transfusion 2006

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