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The Last House on The Left 2009 Unrated

The Last House on the Left 2009

This is the Last House version made with the thought that a larger viewing audience could be garnered. This toned down version is not a bad movie since performances bump it up to a well-done film. They got rid of some of the cheese factor but the original even with cheese trumps this remake in brutality and bleakness. They played it straight but gave me an unrealistic death scene that ends up being over the top. It didn’t suit the mood. This resulted in a more cartoonish experience. Dillahunt manages a very chilling performance as a cold-hearted sociopath but it is as if these psychos have always been this way and the first film is different in that respect. In the first film the psychos seem unaware of themselves. Amongst all the torture that goes on, it is as if they are all surprised by their own sickness and testing their boundaries. They keep taking it up a notch and finding that they are enjoying themselves. This is all lost in the remake since you really aren’t invested. This film does not bring the viewer in as a voyeur the way the first one manages and viewer guilt is null as you are no longer a participant. The girls fight back in this and they manage to come off as more real, intelligent and certainly less naive. I do commend them for this but my biggest complaint above all is the revenge, no longer a tasty snack in this version and way less satisfying. Why? The very last scene devolves into cartoon style revenge. I was left with nothing to really chew on no matter how stellar the performances were. This does have the updated look, slick and well edited so I’m sure the modern audience and those unfamiliar with the first outing will appreciate that. The original, which actually had a lot of underlying social commentary had way more guts. This remake unfortunately left me a tad cold. I’d say stick with a rental on this, it’s slightly generic as opposed to a theater view but still view it sometime if you’re into this genre.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Riki Lindholme

Riki Lindhome

Riki Lindhome

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admin on September 27th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Slasher Movies | No Comments -




After Life 2009

After Life Horror movie review

After Life 2009

Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloos feature-length directorial effort is high on star power and proposes an interesting premise, that of a woman who hovers between life and death and a mortician who is there to help her transition. The script, also by Wojtowicz-Vosloo, starts off incredibly uneven but picks up steam as it moves along thanks to the interaction between the young woman in question, played by Christina Ricci, and Liam Neesons mortician. Ricci has to carry her portions of the film while being in various states of undress for large chunks of time, and while that must have been a challenge for her she pulls it off while giving enough tilt to her performance to give the central question of the film–is Anna really dead?–some subtlety and suspense. Neeson for his part carries off a surprisingly difficult role with his usual ease. Under Neesons care, Eliot is at various times curmudgeonly, nurturing, calm and menacing, and he makes it all perfectly believable. On the flip side, Justin Long is horribly miscast as Annas grieving near-fiancee Paul. Long is a charming and likable actor, but here he is just not right for the role and he spends most of the time overacting. The biggest problem however is that the film can never really decide whether it is a supernatural thriller or a psychological one, and that murky status leaves After.Life hanging out to dry. The sudden, fevered pitch toward the climax is too off-kilter and while there are some interesting things that happen as the answers become clear, the plot falls into well-worn territory and becomes a rote exercise in staying firmly within the lines of the thriller genre. This is a film that has its moments and some will be satisfied with Riccis en masse showing of skin, but most will be left wanting more.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 (creepy)

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci

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admin on September 27th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Supernatural Drama, Supernatural Horror movie | No Comments -




Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003

texas chainsaw massacre 2003

Well, this wasn’t the blasphemous abomination I assumed it would be.(Michael Bay executive-producing a remake of one of the all-time great horror movies? Hmmm, no thank you!?!) In fact, the movie actually does do alot of things right. Remember the trailer? The atmosphere and mood are near perfect right off the bat. There is a feeling of unease. You almost believe you’re back in the 70′s. And, the re imagined plot makes a little more sense this time around. Once the flick gets going, I like that for the most part it doesn’t let up. The cinematography is first rate. It is used effectively to heighten the creepiness. The cast, for the most part, is good. Jessica Biel looks especially delicious in a tank top, and makes an excellent scream queen. She can’t quite match the unbridled terror of the original movie’s heroine, but, hell, who can? My one major complaint is with R. Lee Emory. He’s a helluva actor, and allot of people love him in this. But, to me, when he showed up, his over-the-top schtick took me right out of the nightmare. All in all, this is the best studio horror film since “The Ring”. If this didn’t bear the name of an all-time classic, I probably would have rated it a little higher. Still, the original terrified me the first time I saw it, taking me seemingly to the edge of insanity-this version just chilled me a little bit.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1/2 out of 5 (Really the only reason i put this movie on this site is the scene where jessica biel is running through the slaughter house and the fire extingiushers suddenly come on and soak her white tank top.)

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel

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admin on August 9th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Monster Movies, Slasher Movies | No Comments -




Children of the Corn 2009

Children of the corn 2009

This is a complete and total piece of garbage. I wish I could give it a minus stars rating. It is nothing like Stephen King’s short story, or the original movie  that was based on the short story. Unlikeable characters that I really was glad to see die, too much time wasted watching Burt run endlessly through corn fields. The savior of this movie was probably the most disturbing, SPOILER!!!! was a gratuitous and graphic sex scene in the church where a large group of small children are watching a totally nude male teen “fertilize” a totally nude female teen on an altar. Appalling and totally needed however where are the parents to these child actors? This movie was nothing like the original short story, the bad acting, horrible script and mindless plot made this movie hard to sit through. I bet Stephen King is disgusted by this crap too!

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Some people may remember Zita Vass in the second season of Californication where she shows full frontal nudity!!!!

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admin on August 5th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Uncategorized | No Comments -




The Grapes of Death 1978

The Grapes of Death 1978

Get ready to read, A french horror movie with English subtitles….eeeew, for horror buffs its worth at least a glance, here the synopsis. A plague strikes transmitted in wine strikes a French village turning all who consume the stuff into pus-oozing, rabid maniacs. A girl traveling by train to her fiance’s vineyard finds herself fighting for her life. The influences of Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci are pretty obvious, as is that of George Romero’s “The Crazies”. “Grapes of Death” is one of Rollin’s more accessible films, having a linear storyline and consistent mood. The acting isn’t as bad as in some of his other movies, either.

I’m not going to nitpick over whether these are really zombies or not they’re diseased people who rot and are compelled to kill. Big difference. It’s got some of the good things about Euro horror: beautiful locations, beautiful people, and large quantities of fake-looking, free-flowing gore. It’s got some of the bad things about Euro horror: a sloooow pace and a slim regard for plot. If you can live with that, it’s not a bad movie. The main thing it’s got going for it is the shock value, because the kill scenes are fairly savage. Just don’t watch it too late at night. Not because it will scare you too bad, but because it might be hard to keep awake. Maybe with a nice diseased Merlot

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Brigitte Lahaie

unknown nude actress

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admin on August 5th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Slasher Movies, Zombie Movie | No Comments -




Touristas 2006

Turistas 2006

This movie asks the question: do breasts that are erotic on a live body remain erotic on a hollowed out corpse? The answer is yes. Turistas is lazy and unoriginal but it’s never boring. It’s part of that whole English speaking folks (this time an Aussie, a few Americans and two Brits) go to some third world hellhole and fall prey to some real evil savages trend. Except the third world hellhole is Brazil and the savage is some politically motivated surgeon. More thoughts (possible spoilers) 1.) Least abrasive characters live. 2.) There are noble savages -even in Brazil! 3.) Kids in third world world hellholes should be avoided at all costs (Hot babes too.) 4.) Never take the bus. For God’s sake, never take the bus. 5.) Like Knowing, the caves cannot save you. I’d only recommend this to people, like me, who feel compelled to watch every R rated movie the Hollywood garbage machine craps out but then again we are at boobiesandblood.com!

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Beau Garrett

Beau Garrett

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admin on August 5th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Slasher Movies | No Comments -




Puppet Master 2: His Unholy Creations

Puppet Master 2: His Unholy Creations 1991

Compared to some of the newer movies and CGI these films may be a bit childish nowadays, but dammit, I still love them and this one tries to be a bit scarier than the first one. Puppet Master 2 His unholy Creations introduces a new puppet, Torch, who is very reminiscent of the Nazis that once tried to murder their creator Andre Toulon. Anyways, they go in search of some brain serum or whatever. It’s all just mindless fun brought to us by the great people of Full Moon productions.  best thing about this movie is a nice scene where scream queen Charlie Spradling shows here lovely globes.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Charlie Spradling in Puppet Master 2

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admin on August 5th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Monster Movies | No Comments -




The Collector 2009

The Collector 2009

The Collector is indebted to the maligned torture porn genre (the writer / director team did work on part of the Saw series), but by finding the right blend of horror tropes to defy and use, it comes out way ahead of this pack, making for a gritty, tense viewing that isn’t fun, exactly, but doesn’t make you feel cheap like the Hostel rip-offs generally do. The problem with films of this type, generally, is that there’s rarely effort to tie the audience to the characters before we have pointless teens being tied up and bloodily tortured by crazies for vague reasons. Maybe the kills are visually impressive, but at a bare minimum 90 minutes, you need at least SOME involvement, right?

The Collector vastly exceeds this bare need, giving us an everyman character for our point of view. Casting was important here, and it succeeded. You like this guy (Josh Stewart), even though he may be up to no good. Indeed, hes trying to rob someones house. …But its the wrong house, because the crazy in this movie is The Collector, and hes sort of booby-trapped the house and ol Joshy is locked inside. Now this Collector character is kept vague in THE RIGHT WAY. Both calculated but crazy, seemingly unbeatable but still definitely human, he never talks, hes got a creepy look… Its a classic horror baddie, and he is scary. And the rest of the characters act honorably but also believably, fighting and running at sensible moments, able to stay quiet but also getting freaked out. And yes, there are great moments of violence that are worth it because there built up to – not just splattered about – with some truly awesome camera work that puts all the flashy edit nonsense of modern horror to shame. Overall, certain aspects of the plot are a bit silly, but The Collector definitely wowed me beyond expectations, and was nerve-wracking in all the right ways.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5 (a good few seconds of Madeline Zima!)

Madeline Zima

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admin on July 23rd, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Slasher Movies | No Comments -




Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead 2009

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead 2009

If you were into the first two films as I was, then you will enjoy this inbred splatterfest. A bus load of convicts get loose, stumble upon millions of dollars and, end up cutting the head off the mutant killer’s son and putting it on a pole. Not a smart move. The kill scenes were first rate and really carried what would have been a tired, played out sequel. Axe killings, several arrow killings, stabbing, cut up with sickle, impaled with huge spike, burned alive, wrapped in razor wire, dragged to death, face sliced off, split in three pieces and multiple cannibal scenes will keep you entertained. A must for slasher fans and anyone that has seen the first two…

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

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admin on May 17th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Slasher Movies | No Comments -




Hellraiser VII: Deader 2004

Hellraiser 7 Deader

The first and second Hellraiser movies reeled me in because 1). The Cenobites were frighteningly beyond words. 2). The gore was unfathomable. I had never seen anyone lose their skin before or go on a mission to retrieve it! 3). I got my first peak into what I could only imagine hell would REALLY be like. After watching the first two movies I was even too paranoid to play with my Rubik’s Cube, lol. The series has deteriorated significantly enough since. Hellraiser VII: Deader started out promising. There is a scene near the beginning where the main character, a journalist named Amy, is in search of a woman associated with a cult that allegedly can bring people back to life after they commit suicide. Amy enters this woman’s apartment and there are a few genuinely sinister moments (remember the girl in the closet in The Ring and how revolting the house was in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre?). Unfortunately, the movie declines thereafter. The cult needs Amy to sacrifice herself so that the leader can conquer Pinhead’s domain. Since Amy refuses to willingly take her own life, she is stabbed by the leader and ends up in a limbo; wandering in-between worlds with a gaping wound in her chest that won’t stop bleeding. Then there’s a final showdown between the cult leader, Pinhead, and Amy (which realm will Amy select: Pinhead’s, or the cult’s, or?). Some of the makeup and lighting is poor, the Cenobites are barely seen (and not scary!), and what happened to Pinhead’s voice? In early movies he exuded a booming, menacing voice that sent shivers down my spine. Here he sounds like an elderly gentleman demanding a cup of tea (although he’s still a cool character!). Not a BAD movie, but not real scary either.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Kari Wuhrer

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admin on May 17th, 2010 | File Under Boobies, Homicidal Horror Movie, Monster Movies, Supernatural Horror movie | No Comments -