Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Meridian Kiss of The Beast 1990

If you really like Sherilyn Fenn, then you may want to watch this movie. If you fondly recall poor quality movies from the 80′s, you may want to watch this movie. If you want to watch the silly costumed monster pictured on the front cover have sex with Sherilyn Fenn (which is wrong on so many accounts) you may want to watch this movie. If not, then you definitely don’t want to watch this movie. It really sucks pretty bad. It’s low budget, makes little sense, relies on a freaky sideshow for it’s texture. You will see Sherilyn laying on a bed topless for an extended period of time and she sure isn’t bad to look at, but then you’re forced to watch the beast mount her while she seems to act like this is an everyday event–again, disturbing. And you’ll see the very large chested Charlie topless and reclining or standing in several briefer scenes. Theres very little plot, the special effects are poor, there’s no drama or mystery. You just get a silly costume, an all too brief naked Sherilyn and alot of time to wonder what you were thinking. I’d suggest you keep looking for a better title. Too bad there’s no foul language or Gore, its all too silly to be labeled a Horror Movie really, the movie itself is the true horror. The beast on Sherilyn….that’s just so wrong. How did anyone keep a straight face?

Horror Rating: 0 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Sherilyn Fenn

Sherilyn Fenn

Sherilyn Fenn

Charlie Spradling our favorite Scream Queen!!!

Howling 2 1986

Now this is some pretty good trash. Aside from a little pacing issue in the second half, and a want for more topless scenes, I can’t find much fault with “The Howling 2.” You get loads of bad acting, a killer soundtrack, quality camp, and plenty of gory wolf kills. Throw into the mix two clueless leads, a script like “Troll 2,” and one smoking hot Sybil Danning, who hams it up royally as the Werewolf Queen, and you’ve got the makings of an 80′s camp classic. This is superior vintage, and an excellent serving of bad movie lite. Sybil Danning fans, also, this is one you SHOULD NOT MISS. Highly recommended. (PS: The end credits are some of the best ever).

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Sybil Danning

Marsha Hunt

texas chainsaw massacre 2003

Well, this wasn’t the blasphemous abomination I asumed it would be.(Michael Bay executive-producing a remake of one of the all-time great horror movies? Hmmm, no thank you!?!) In fact, the movie actually does do alot of things right. Remember the trailer? The atmosphere and mood are near perfect right off the bat. There is a feeling of unease. You almost believe you’re back in the 70′s. And, the reimagined plot makes a little more sense this time around. Once the flick gets going, I like that for the most part it doesn’t let up. The cinematography is first rate. It is used effectively to heighten the creepiness. The cast, for the most part, is good. Jessica Biel looks especially delicious in a tank top, and makes an excellent scream queen. She can’t quite match the unbridled terror of the original movie’s heroine, but, hell, who can? My one major complaint is with R. Lee Emory. He’s a helluva actor, and alot of people love him in this. But, to me, when he showed up, his over-the-top schtick took me right out of the nightmare. All in all, this is the best studio horror film since “The Ring”. If this didn’t bear the name of an all-time classic, I probaly would have rated it a little higher. Still, the original terrified me the first time I saw it, taking me seemingly to the edge of insanity-this version just chilled me a little bit.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1/2 out of 5 (Really the only reason i put this movie on this site is the scene where jessica biel is running through the slaughter house and the fire extingiushers suddenly come on and soak her white tank top.)

Jessica Biel

The Hills have eyes 2 2007

Spoiler alert!!!!!Where do I begin? The acting was terrible and stereotypical. It was so bad that it was almost comedic. Later when the one ‘soldier’ is taking a sh!t, a hand reaches out of the bottom of a porto-potty. There is a lone survivor in there. Now why and how a full grown man would not only be in bottom of a potty but to stay under the sewage is beyond me. It isn’t an outhouse where it could be 10 feet deep. That is only the first in a long list of impossibilities including mutants that are fired upon by weapons that kill with one bullet, let alone a whole magazine, and it still takes them more than that to kill them. We are only exposed too 4 mutants, one of whom is blind, yet these 4 (except for the friendly one) are responsible for not only killing soldiers but a small platoon of them. Then there is the ‘special effects’ which were great…..back in 1982. To cap everything off; they left the door open for part 3 which I won’t be wasting my time or money on.

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating:1 out of 5

Cecile Breccia

Incoming search terms:

• Cecile breccia hills have eyes 2

Werewolf hunter 2004

A lot of people obviously don’t get this film. To be fair, the way it’s marketed sets you up for something totally different, a nice B-movie gore fest with scary monsters. But the most frightening thing about this movie is that it’s a true account of the first documented serial killer. So the film really should have been under a different genre.

The Werewolf hunter attempts (sucessfully) to portray a cold blooded killer who just happens to be a romantic at heart. You are thrust into his world of insanity and contradictions. At times he’s gentle and sympathetic, and the next moment he’s thrusting straws into bird’s eyes. Julian Sands plays this part perfectly. At first sympathetic, and finally sadisitic, he reveals the killer over time, never quite letting on when he’s going to snap. The director cuts back and forth between objective reality, and the fantastic delusions of the serial killer. Historically the film is set at a time in Europe when reason and science were struggling to replace folk lore and superstition.

The director plays off that tension by leading us down the werewolf path with a truly repulsive physical transformation. But the credit for the most hideous transformation goes to Sands. Be warned. This movie does contain graphic images of violence against children.  I’m a seasoned horror movie viewer and could barely watch some of the scenes…. However, this film is worth viewing. I’d put it in the same class as “Close Your Eyes”. These are psychological horror films which examine the most frightening monster known to man; himself.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Elsa Pataky in Werewolf Hunter

Puppet Master 2: His Unholy Creations 1991

Compared to some of the newer movies and CGI these films may be a bit childish nowadays, but dammit, I still love them and this one tries to be a bit scarier than the first one. Puppet Master 2 His unholy Creations introduces a new puppet, Torch, who is very reminiscent of the Nazis that once tried to murder their creator Andre Toulon. Anyways, they go in search of some brain serum or whatever. It’s all just mindless fun brought to us by the great people of Full Moon productions.  best thing about this movie is a nice scene where scream queen Charlie Spradling shows here lovely globes.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Charlie Spradling in Puppet Master 2

Hellraiser 7 Deader

The first and second Hellraiser movies reeled me in because 1). The Cenobites were frighteningly beyond words. 2). The gore was unfathomable. I had never seen anyone lose their skin before or go on a mission to retrieve it! 3). I got my first peak into what I could only imagine hell would REALLY be like. After watching the first two movies I was even too paranoid to play with my Rubik’s Cube, lol. The series has deteriorated significantly enough since. Hellraiser VII: Deader started out promising. There is a scene near the beginning where the main character, a journalist named Amy, is in search of a woman associated with a cult that allegedly can bring people back to life after they commit suicide. Amy enters this woman’s apartment and there are a few genuinely sinister moments (remember the girl in the closet in The Ring and how revolting the house was in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre?). Unfortunately, the movie declines thereafter. The cult needs Amy to sacrifice herself so that the leader can conquer Pinhead’s domain. Since Amy refuses to willingly take her own life, she is stabbed by the leader and ends up in a limbo; wandering in-between worlds with a gaping wound in her chest that won’t stop bleeding. Then there’s a final showdown between the cult leader, Pinhead, and Amy (which realm will Amy select: Pinhead’s, or the cult’s, or?). Some of the makeup and lighting is poor, the Cenobites are barely seen (and not scary!), and what happened to Pinhead’s voice? In early movies he exuded a booming, menacing voice that sent shivers down my spine. Here he sounds like an elderly gentleman demanding a cup of tea (although he’s still a cool character!). Not a BAD movie, but not real scary either.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Kari Wuhrer

Kari Wuhrer

Hellraiser Hellworld 2005

“Hellraiser: Hellworld” is the 8th installment into the Hellraiser franchise and this time, Director Rick Bota gets it right. After his two flops in the 6th and 7th films of the series, Bota turns to a more conventional approach in this 8th film…and it works. Five friends are all invited to a party in honor of the internet video game Hellworld in a mansion deep in the woods…where they soon find their horror fantasies become a cold reality. One by one, the friends are methodically picked off by Pinhead himself in sinister fashion. Lance Henriksen also stars and was his usual maniacal self in another solid outing for the veteran actor. This film regains what the last 3 had lost…it hearkens to the days of 80′s horror with your typical partying teenagers who go in expecting debauchery and decadence, but get a crude wake up call. The story was very well written and developed, the actors were on the mark, and the ending gave you a very good and unexpected twist that delivers. This is what I have been looking and waiting for since Bloodline. A high recommend, and a nice return to form.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Desiree malonga

Desiree Malonga

Desiree Malonga

Night of the Demons 2

Night of the Demons 2 is a sequel that definitely does its original film justice. It’s hard to believe that, even though it comes six years after NOTD, it is still able to keep the same tone and quality of the first film. NOTD 2 marks the return of Amelia Kinkade as Angela, creepier and better than ever in this installment. The Night of the Demons series is one of the most underrated and ignored in the horror genre. Much like the first film, this one is good fun with some great atmosphere, dark humor, and gratuitous nudity…all the makings of a good ’80s horror flick, except made in the ’90s. This time around, however, the teens release the evil from Hull house and manage to bring it with them into their boarding school. Night of the Demons 2 comes close to the original but misses the mark by just a little. Check this out if you enjoyed the first. If you didn’t, you’re not going to enjoy this one much more.

Horror Movies: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Cristi Harris

Cristi Harris

Reborn

The actors were very earnest in their appreciation of Craig McMahon–the writer, producer and director–had to give them some credit for that performance. This was a really bad movie and I’m glad that I missed the first movie that this was spawned from. The story centers on a couple who, for some reason, decide to make their fortune owning a junkyard. Apparently he bought it sight unseen because lurking in all the junk is a slob with a slew of video cameras waiting to recruit his next victim to act out his murderous tendencies. The killer is encased in a metal suit–all I could think of was Edward Scissorhands wearing the metal helmet from Saw. The kills, from a gore standard, would have been more interesting if the editing wasn’t so bad. There were a couple of jumpy scares but even that couldn’t help this stinker. Don’t bother with the acting, beyond bad. This guy really shouldn’t be making movies.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 (has its gory scenes)

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Davina Joy