Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Little Deaths 2011

This anthology movie goes more in the direction of dark sexuality than actual horror. That is not to say it is bad, just not the same as most anthologies in the horror genre. All three tales are good, however none of them really surpass into excellence, The first, ‘House and Home’, is the strongest of the three. It keeps thinks interesting as you wonder what is going to happen next, your imagination trying to figure out exactly what the people plan to do. I have to say the reveal of this tale shocked me a bit. The second chapter ‘Mutant Tool’ (aka: evil nazi schlong experiment) was the weakest of the stories. I feel they could have fleshed it out a bit and gone to some more horrific places. Not to say it was bad, just the weakest. The final segment, ‘Bitch’  was the more artsy of the lot. It tried to make a good use of colors, but in the end, it felt like it was trying just a bit too hard. The only color they use is blue, with the occasional red and sometimes yellow. I feel it could have been handled better. The ending was done fantastically though, with the finale being ten minutes of no dialogue, and just imagery and music. In the end ‘Little Deaths’ goal of its content is original and worth seeing, with only three segments, it feels as though they are overlong, and they should have added a fourth.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies rating: 3 out of 5

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Jody Jameson

Siubhan Harrison

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Wizard of Gore 2007 UR

Cripin Glover owns this movie. He’s never given a performance this full of life; he plays Montage the Magician with all the glee of a fratboy who just got the new Madden. No nervous ticks or stammering stutters that are hallmarks of his acting style; here, he’s almost normal. He’s the ultimate used car salesman working his slight of hand to get viewers to buy into what would be a lemon without him. That’s not to say the remake of THE WIZARD OF GORE is all bad, far from it, but the final 5 minutes of predictably contrived nonsense seriously undermines the prior 90 minutes of complete psychotronic headtripping that’s built around blured layers of reality. It’s been years since I’ve seen the original WOG, but I remember thinking it was just as terrible as any other H.G. Lewis film (his importance on the genre isn’t lost on me, but let’s face facts, those movies are pretty disposable – fun, but disposable). Improving upon the original shouldn’t have been hard, but casting Glover is a stoke of genius. He leads a cast that’s a veritable who’s who of the genre. The most notable of which is Jeffrey Combs, who you might not recognize under all his make-up – I didn’t.Director Jeremy Kasten utilizes these great characters to full effect in a story that’s pure 40′s pulp. While Kip Pardue is no Boggart, he wanders through the noirish visuals looking for answers like a half-derranged Sam Spade high on smack and lusting for the Suicide Girls. It’s the Suicide Girls who provide the film with its most exploitative elements, a fact spelled out by the always lovely Bijou Phillips. Montage is misogyny personified, and through the Girl’s butchered bare skin he revels in his hatred for women, or so her sentiments lead us to believe. Figuring out what’s really taking place on stage is all part of the movie’s charm.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5 (gore lots of fake blood)

Boobies Rating: 5 out of 5

Amina Munster

Amina Munster

Cricket DeManuel

Flux Suicide

Unknown Actress

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Hello Marylou Prom Night II 1987

HELLO MARY LOU has nothing to do with the original PROM NIGHT—save one thing—the name of the High School. The film also borrows heavily from past horror success stories—CARRIE, THE EVIL DEAD, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and THE EXORCIST. Even with all of these minor references the duality of PROM NIGHT II and CARRIE is profoundly blatant and at times almost embarrassingly plagiaristic. Much in the same manner as NIGHT OF THE CREEPS the characters in Pittman’s film are named after the great horror directors—Carpenter, Browning, Romero and even a Kelly Hennenlotter and an “Eddie” Wood. All of this seems custom designed to spoof the genre. Instead the cast plays the film straight as an arrow—without the least hint of irony. The film’s supernatural elements overshadow the traditional HALLOWEEN-esque slasher formula of the original production in favor of a surrealist nightmare fantasy where Vicki is no longer in control of her actions. The film hints and later delivers several shocking moments, including implied lesbianism and a—too long—shot of the possessed Vicki passionately incestually kissing her father before she heads off to the prom. It’s the moments like this—woven into a standard 1980’s teen script that make PROM NIGHT II stand apart from the late 80’s gridlock of mediocre genre fare. On paper, PROM NIGHT II should be a colossal failure. It has no basis in the original production—which has sadly not aged well. The screenplay has accounted for virtually every cliché ever written from John Carpenter to John Hughes. The dialogue is heavily dated and the performances are tinged with Canadian casting inflections—that the entire production feels like a lost episode of DeGrassi Junior High at best and an After-School Special at worst. Yet, somehow in the midst of this perfect storm of cheese, the film manages to still entertain to this day

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating:2 out of 5

Beverly Hendry Wendy Lyon

Wendy Lyon

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Doppelganger

Guess the ending to this convoluted mess and you deserve a trophy. Despite a few dropped hints it seemed like an afterthought. Rather than a creative finale it’s as if the Producers said: “Cut the special effects budget. Add more blood and gore!” Ms. Barrymore made this movie when she was 18 years old, sometime between ‘The Amy Fisher Story’ and ‘Wayne’s World 2.’ However, here we get to see some of her womanly charms. If not, I wouldn’t have watched. Her acting left much to be desired. The part she played in ‘Poison Ivy’ was Oscar-worthy by comparison. The story didn’t give any of the players much to to work with though. But a job’s a job, and you do your best, right? In the end I blame the Director and the Producers who hired him. Clearly, they couldn’t get Brian De Palma. Avi Nesher, the director they hired, must’ve been a big fan of De Palma’s work. He tried to copy his style. Sadly he failed. Like a rooky chef trying to reproduce his master’s famous recipe, the ingredients were all there but none of the flair and flavor. As thrillers go it does have its moments. But it’s somewhat more curious than it is suspenseful. And it’s often silly when it should be frightening. Movies of this type are highly dependent on mood, tone and foreboding. This movie had it all. But you’ve seen it before and better. A horrible murder has been committed. The prime suspect is ambiguously innocent. Sexy encounters. Shower scene. Plenty of dark and stormy nights. Even the elements seem to be dangerous. Eerie music alerts you when it’s time to pay attention. Lots of dark rooms with things lurking in the shadows. The protagonist is lured into danger against all common sense. And more red herrings than you can gather in a net. In a film making course this flick would come under the heading of ‘Don’ts.’ But fans of Ms. Barrymore might find it entertaining on some level.

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Drew Barrymore

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After Life 2009

Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloos feature-length directorial effort is high on star power and proposes an interesting premise, that of a woman who hovers between life and death and a mortician who is there to help her transition. The script, also by Wojtowicz-Vosloo, starts off incredibly uneven but picks up steam as it moves along thanks to the interaction between the young woman in question, played by Christina Ricci, and Liam Neesons mortician. Ricci has to carry her portions of the film while being in various states of undress for large chunks of time, and while that must have been a challenge for her she pulls it off while giving enough tilt to her performance to give the central question of the film–is Anna really dead?–some subtlety and suspense. Neeson for his part carries off a surprisingly difficult role with his usual ease. Under Neesons care, Eliot is at various times curmudgeonly, nurturing, calm and menacing, and he makes it all perfectly believable. On the flip side, Justin Long is horribly miscast as Annas grieving near-fiancee Paul. Long is a charming and likable actor, but here he is just not right for the role and he spends most of the time overacting. The biggest problem however is that the film can never really decide whether it is a supernatural thriller or a psychological one, and that murky status leaves After.Life hanging out to dry. The sudden, fevered pitch toward the climax is too off-kilter and while there are some interesting things that happen as the answers become clear, the plot falls into well-worn territory and becomes a rote exercise in staying firmly within the lines of the thriller genre. This is a film that has its moments and some will be satisfied with Riccis en masse showing of skin, but most will be left wanting more.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 (creepy)

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci

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Hellraiser Hellworld 2005

“Hellraiser: Hellworld” is the 8th installment into the Hellraiser franchise and this time, Director Rick Bota gets it right. After his two flops in the 6th and 7th films of the series, Bota turns to a more conventional approach in this 8th film…and it works. Five friends are all invited to a party in honor of the internet video game Hellworld in a mansion deep in the woods…where they soon find their horror fantasies become a cold reality. One by one, the friends are methodically picked off by Pinhead himself in sinister fashion. Lance Henriksen also stars and was his usual maniacal self in another solid outing for the veteran actor. This film regains what the last 3 had lost…it hearkens to the days of 80′s horror with your typical partying teenagers who go in expecting debauchery and decadence, but get a crude wake up call. The story was very well written and developed, the actors were on the mark, and the ending gave you a very good and unexpected twist that delivers. This is what I have been looking and waiting for since Bloodline. A high recommend, and a nice return to form.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Desiree malonga

Desiree Malonga

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The Ring 2002

With a spectacular line of American directors botching Japanese horror flicks, the Ring was one of the rare films to actually get it right. If you can put aside the dated idea of VCR tapes and just go with it, this movie will–I repeat, will scare you silly. Why is it so scary, because it sneaks up on you slowly. I also have to add one more thing, the story in this film is laid out very very well, i might even dare say, much better then the Japanese version. It leaves the terror on the shelf for a short time and brings you into the mystery of how this little girl came to exist, and you find yourself going with Naomi Watts on this journey as she triese to uncover this terrifying little girl’s origin. Better, some of the imagery in this film is very very creepy, and yes–as much as I hate to admit it, those images on that VCR tape get to you! And I don’t care what anyone says, the little boy in this film was very good. It has been a long long time since I actually was scared to be alone in the house after a movie was done. I could not sleep and stayed in my office for about two hours with the light on. There is even an option on the DVD to sit there and watch the images yourself while sitting in front your TV.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1/2 out of 5

Naomi Watts

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Night Of the Demons 1987

I didn’t expect much from this movie judging by the corny DVD cover photo, but man, what a fun movie! I liked it so much that I watched it twice before shipping it back. Basically it works on all levels. The characters are corny, the comedy is dopey, and the horror is somewhat horrific…. Also noteworthy is the peculiar scene in which a tube of lipstick mysteriously disappears by being pushed into a nude woman’s breast. This was before CGI so I have no idea how they filmed it… And I liked the writing. Little plot points are foreshadowed early on. Like the possessed girl who carries the shard of mirror around for most of the film, and only later uses it as a murder weapon. Also the “Stooge” character is such a likeable oaf that he kind of made the film for me. How can you not like a character who shouts for no reason “Eat this bowl of f**k!”? They made two sequels, but I have not yet seen them. Anyhow I recommend this movie as a guilty pleasure…

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Jill Terashita

Linnea Quigley

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Nympha 2007

Nympha starts off like most nusploitation movies. Sarah, Scream Queen Tiffany Shepis (Tromeo & Juliet) wants to leave her past behind and become a nun. She is stripped of all her worldly possessions and stands naked to receive her new habits. But, things get weird from that point as she is soon to face the first test as her eardrums are punctured. She starts hearing voices and having visions. Sight is removed with acid, the hands are burned, and her tongue is cut out so that she can talk to God with her soul only. We really don’t know what is going on. Are things real, or are they just what she is seeing in her mind? Is she hearing and seeing God. She certainly ends up touching God in the form of Caroline De Cristofaro, who jumps in her bed. Are the nuns exorcising demons from the house? We certainly get glimpses of bloody and sinful doings that apparently happened in the past. One thing that is great about this film is the cinematography and the score. The classical music really adds to the feeling and, unlike many horror pictures, the lighting is superb. These are some strange nuns and they certainly don’t conform to the tents of the Church. I leave it to the viewer to determine just how non-conformist they are.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Tiffany Shepis

Tiffany Shepis

Tiffany Shepis

Caroline deCristafaro

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Carrie 1976

This is one of those unofficial classics whose material is still too disreputably pleasurable and macabrely, deviantly funny to be considered the masterpiece of American cinema it actually is. Containing far more emotional truth about growing up different than more supposedly “sensitive” films (Ordinary People, Donnie Darko) this hysterical little fairytale packs a bracing wallop. A young telekinetic girl–the freak daughter of a religious fanatic– becomes a victim of a particularly nasty prank at the prom, gets crowned with pig’s blood and destroys everybody with her powers. Through a mixture of fantastic acting (Spacek and Laurie) pop pulp parody, and stylistic gymnastics (most of which center on the metaphorical device of the split screen) De Palma has here created a shockingly sensational tale of improbably witty and poetic brilliance; sleaze and silliness come together in a comic nightmare about divided perspectives stirring up a hilarious, maggoty mess of guilty social hypocrisies and ordinary story-telling techniques. At the end, all of it goes up in a marvelously irresponsible red blaze of fury. There’s no comparison to Hitchcock or Welles really, Carrie’s simply better than any of their work. Building something new from their stylistic developments Carrie goes much deeper, because it doesn’t play coy and mouse games with its material the way the masters had to with theirs in the past. It’s a great movie

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Sissy spacek, amy irving, nancy Allen

Sissy Spacek

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