Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Red Sands 2009

Forget the Taliban, don’t mess with ancient statues when in the Middle East. These soldiers did and now a djinn is out to haunt them with their guilty deeds during the war. Almost the entire movie takes place in the house they are stationed in to monitor traffic on a desolate road. The movie is more of a psychological thriller or paranormal story than a straight horror flick. It was marginally okay despite being almost completely shot through a sepia tone filter. You will be happy to know that the U.S. now has the capability to blow up an entire house with one single hand grenade.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Sarah Doolan

Hellraiser 7 Deader

The first and second Hellraiser movies reeled me in because 1). The Cenobites were frighteningly beyond words. 2). The gore was unfathomable. I had never seen anyone lose their skin before or go on a mission to retrieve it! 3). I got my first peak into what I could only imagine hell would REALLY be like. After watching the first two movies I was even too paranoid to play with my Rubik’s Cube, lol. The series has deteriorated significantly enough since. Hellraiser VII: Deader started out promising. There is a scene near the beginning where the main character, a journalist named Amy, is in search of a woman associated with a cult that allegedly can bring people back to life after they commit suicide. Amy enters this woman’s apartment and there are a few genuinely sinister moments (remember the girl in the closet in The Ring and how revolting the house was in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre?). Unfortunately, the movie declines thereafter. The cult needs Amy to sacrifice herself so that the leader can conquer Pinhead’s domain. Since Amy refuses to willingly take her own life, she is stabbed by the leader and ends up in a limbo; wandering in-between worlds with a gaping wound in her chest that won’t stop bleeding. Then there’s a final showdown between the cult leader, Pinhead, and Amy (which realm will Amy select: Pinhead’s, or the cult’s, or?). Some of the makeup and lighting is poor, the Cenobites are barely seen (and not scary!), and what happened to Pinhead’s voice? In early movies he exuded a booming, menacing voice that sent shivers down my spine. Here he sounds like an elderly gentleman demanding a cup of tea (although he’s still a cool character!). Not a BAD movie, but not real scary either.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Kari Wuhrer

Kari Wuhrer

Hellraiser Hellworld 2005

“Hellraiser: Hellworld” is the 8th installment into the Hellraiser franchise and this time, Director Rick Bota gets it right. After his two flops in the 6th and 7th films of the series, Bota turns to a more conventional approach in this 8th film…and it works. Five friends are all invited to a party in honor of the internet video game Hellworld in a mansion deep in the woods…where they soon find their horror fantasies become a cold reality. One by one, the friends are methodically picked off by Pinhead himself in sinister fashion. Lance Henriksen also stars and was his usual maniacal self in another solid outing for the veteran actor. This film regains what the last 3 had lost…it hearkens to the days of 80′s horror with your typical partying teenagers who go in expecting debauchery and decadence, but get a crude wake up call. The story was very well written and developed, the actors were on the mark, and the ending gave you a very good and unexpected twist that delivers. This is what I have been looking and waiting for since Bloodline. A high recommend, and a nice return to form.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Desiree malonga

Desiree Malonga

Desiree Malonga

The Ring 2002

With a spectacular line of American directors botching Japanese horror flicks, the Ring was one of the rare films to actually get it right. If you can put aside the dated idea of VCR tapes and just go with it, this movie will–I repeat, will scare you silly. Why is it so scary, because it sneaks up on you slowly. I also have to add one more thing, the story in this film is laid out very very well, i might even dare say, much better then the Japanese version. It leaves the terror on the shelf for a short time and brings you into the mystery of how this little girl came to exist, and you find yourself going with Naomi Watts on this journey as she triese to uncover this terrifying little girl’s origin. Better, some of the imagery in this film is very very creepy, and yes–as much as I hate to admit it, those images on that VCR tape get to you! And I don’t care what anyone says, the little boy in this film was very good. It has been a long long time since I actually was scared to be alone in the house after a movie was done. I could not sleep and stayed in my office for about two hours with the light on. There is even an option on the DVD to sit there and watch the images yourself while sitting in front your TV.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1/2 out of 5

Naomi Watts

The Broken 2008

The Broken begins with a quote from Poe’s William Wilson (a doppelgänger story, so literary types are clued in immediately to the theme of the film), and plays out like a Poe story—which means it’s slow, creepy, literary, and artistic! All really good things in my book, but if you’re into horror primarily for shock, gore, or constant terror, this is not the one you’re looking for. The horror here is primarily of the “self-examination and being horrified by what we find within” sort of thing which was one of the obsessions of the 19th Century Romanticists. There are layers of interpretation in this film. Taken at face value it is indeed a Body Snatcher sort of story, where the “aliens” don’t come from outerspace, but from innerspace. On another level, it is the story of every person’s battle with the “shadow” self. If we succeed in killing our shadow, what becomes of us? And on another level, it is a mystery thriller that demands a great deal of attention, because even when we become aware of the “reveal” it is a little tricky to pin down when it actually happened. There is a lot of misdirection. A thinking person’s horror film that is beautifully filmed, brilliantly acted, and just scary and creepy enough to get the blood racing, but not so scary it shuts down the brain and prevents thought—which is essential to enjoying this film.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Michelle Duncan

Night Of the Demons 1987

I didn’t expect much from this movie judging by the corny DVD cover photo, but man, what a fun movie! I liked it so much that I watched it twice before shipping it back. Basically it works on all levels. The characters are corny, the comedy is dopey, and the horror is somewhat horrific…. Also noteworthy is the peculiar scene in which a tube of lipstick mysteriously disappears by being pushed into a nude woman’s breast. This was before CGI so I have no idea how they filmed it… And I liked the writing. Little plot points are foreshadowed early on. Like the possessed girl who carries the shard of mirror around for most of the film, and only later uses it as a murder weapon. Also the “Stooge” character is such a likeable oaf that he kind of made the film for me. How can you not like a character who shouts for no reason “Eat this bowl of f**k!”? They made two sequels, but I have not yet seen them. Anyhow I recommend this movie as a guilty pleasure…

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Jill Terashita

Linnea Quigley

Linnea Quigley

Nympha 2007

Nympha starts off like most nusploitation movies. Sarah, Scream Queen Tiffany Shepis (Tromeo & Juliet) wants to leave her past behind and become a nun. She is stripped of all her worldly possessions and stands naked to receive her new habits. But, things get weird from that point as she is soon to face the first test as her eardrums are punctured. She starts hearing voices and having visions. Sight is removed with acid, the hands are burned, and her tongue is cut out so that she can talk to God with her soul only. We really don’t know what is going on. Are things real, or are they just what she is seeing in her mind? Is she hearing and seeing God. She certainly ends up touching God in the form of Caroline De Cristofaro, who jumps in her bed. Are the nuns exorcising demons from the house? We certainly get glimpses of bloody and sinful doings that apparently happened in the past. One thing that is great about this film is the cinematography and the score. The classical music really adds to the feeling and, unlike many horror pictures, the lighting is superb. These are some strange nuns and they certainly don’t conform to the tents of the Church. I leave it to the viewer to determine just how non-conformist they are.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Tiffany Shepis

Tiffany Shepis

Tiffany Shepis

Caroline deCristafaro

Carrie 1976

This is one of those unofficial classics whose material is still too disreputably pleasurable and macabrely, deviantly funny to be considered the masterpiece of American cinema it actually is. Containing far more emotional truth about growing up different than more supposedly “sensitive” films (Ordinary People, Donnie Darko) this hysterical little fairytale packs a bracing wallop. A young telekinetic girl–the freak daughter of a religious fanatic– becomes a victim of a particularly nasty prank at the prom, gets crowned with pig’s blood and destroys everybody with her powers. Through a mixture of fantastic acting (Spacek and Laurie) pop pulp parody, and stylistic gymnastics (most of which center on the metaphorical device of the split screen) De Palma has here created a shockingly sensational tale of improbably witty and poetic brilliance; sleaze and silliness come together in a comic nightmare about divided perspectives stirring up a hilarious, maggoty mess of guilty social hypocrisies and ordinary story-telling techniques. At the end, all of it goes up in a marvelously irresponsible red blaze of fury. There’s no comparison to Hitchcock or Welles really, Carrie’s simply better than any of their work. Building something new from their stylistic developments Carrie goes much deeper, because it doesn’t play coy and mouse games with its material the way the masters had to with theirs in the past. It’s a great movie

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Sissy spacek, amy irving, nancy Allen

Sissy Spacek

Amityville Horror 1979

George Lutz is tormented by an unruly spirit that haunts the corridors of his new home and the convolutions of his mind. Director Stuart Rosenberg adapts the infamous novel concerning the Lutz family’s 28 days of paranormal experiences. But the real horror is not the metaphysical but the metaphor: the illusion of tranquility and the Church’s impotence in recognizing the deadly sin of domestic violence. This classic film relies on suspense and ambiguity as it builds towards a supernatural tempest, beginning and ending on a dark and stormy night. The film almost transcend the constraints of genre tropes but falls victim to its own devices: the denouement becomes a sticky morass of supernatural gibberish, offering cliched pronouncements of ancient Indian burial grounds and gates of Hell. But the film works in the first two acts, laying the groundwork for a seething patriarchal conflict as George inherits Kathy’s prefrabricated family and the baggage that come along with it. The mystical events are minimized and can be explained by the prosaic: It’s when people begin talking in tongues about the gates of Hell and George discovers the red room with its pit of gore that the yarn unravels. Lalo Schifrin’s score is the real star of this movie, evoking Bernard Herrmann’s raging PSYCHO strings, which adds to the thickly charged atmosphere.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Margot Kidder

Devil's Nightmare

It had everything; creepy castle, creepier butler, perfect (although typical) scenario and lots of chicks. The plot although predictable, was pretty good and even had a nifty twist at the end. If you are looking for sex/nudity, it’s here but misplaced. There is a fairly well done scene with two lesbians at the beginning that really didn’t even seem gratuitous. The problem is with the villainess. A sucubus is a sort of supernatural, sexual predator. Not this chick. As she prowls around offing the other cast members, it becomes apparent that all the imagination and creative energy has been expended; (except for the ending). Lame, boring murder methodically follows lame boring murder until everyone’s dead. No more sex, nudity or gore. To be honest, the killings do involve a touch of irony and, well, maybe they are sort of imaginative. Ok, so I’m jaded. I hate 21st century computer effects that are way over the top, that’s why I like this type movie, the beloved cheesey sleazy B flick. So…. where’s the rest of the tastelessness Draw your own conclusions. This movie is far from bad and I recommend it to any fan of the genre. I would simply have preferred more crass & less class. That’s just me.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Ivana Novak and Shirley Corrigan