Boobies And Blood – Horror Movie Reviews

Night of the Demons 2009

I am a huge fan of the original Night of the Demons. It was just great cheesy gory sleazy fun. And i am glad to say that although the remake isn’t as good as the original, it does recreate alot of what made the original film so good…great special make up and gore effects, more action than plot (who really needs a big overblown plot in a B-movie anyway), and lots of sleaze. The soundtrack is also pretty damn good (I was actually distracted from a decent girl-on-girl scene because of Type O Negative playing in the background!). I was also pleased that it wasn’t a carbon copy of the first movie, yet it didn’t try to completely re-write the entire story (like many of the remakes out there today). All in all it was a really fun Halloween film. If you are a fan of the original, check this one out.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

shannon elizabeth

diora baird

Unknown nude

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Teeth 2006

Expecting a low budget campy inde flick, “Teeth” actually has a much higher production value than I expected. The biggest surprise was the laughs. I never found the film horrifying, though it was quite shocking from time to time. It is not the type of film that is going to make you scared to leave home. As a Gore/Comedy I found it absolutely hilarious. The blood squirting was a real riot. What a great concept, “vag*n@ dentata.” I even looked it up on line after the movie. Who would have thought. The plot is rather oblivious and although you see it coming a mile away, I found my hollering “No don’t do it, don’t, no …. OOOHHH!! He did!!” [queue the laughter]. LOL. The film never crosses over into gritty exploitation but it is certain not for every one. The female nudity is limited one tasteful scene, and of coarse there is teen sex. Some scenes are rather graphic (with male privates) but even for those hiding their eyes and peering through fingers, it is much more fun that I expected. “Teeth” is VERY worth watching; if for nothing more than its sheer originality and solid entertainment value.

Horror Rating: 4 out of 5 (we are talking multi severed penis here!!)

Boobies rating :1 out of 5

Jess Weixler

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Wizard of Gore 2007 UR

Cripin Glover owns this movie. He’s never given a performance this full of life; he plays Montage the Magician with all the glee of a fratboy who just got the new Madden. No nervous ticks or stammering stutters that are hallmarks of his acting style; here, he’s almost normal. He’s the ultimate used car salesman working his slight of hand to get viewers to buy into what would be a lemon without him. That’s not to say the remake of THE WIZARD OF GORE is all bad, far from it, but the final 5 minutes of predictably contrived nonsense seriously undermines the prior 90 minutes of complete psychotronic headtripping that’s built around blured layers of reality. It’s been years since I’ve seen the original WOG, but I remember thinking it was just as terrible as any other H.G. Lewis film (his importance on the genre isn’t lost on me, but let’s face facts, those movies are pretty disposable – fun, but disposable). Improving upon the original shouldn’t have been hard, but casting Glover is a stoke of genius. He leads a cast that’s a veritable who’s who of the genre. The most notable of which is Jeffrey Combs, who you might not recognize under all his make-up – I didn’t.Director Jeremy Kasten utilizes these great characters to full effect in a story that’s pure 40′s pulp. While Kip Pardue is no Boggart, he wanders through the noirish visuals looking for answers like a half-derranged Sam Spade high on smack and lusting for the Suicide Girls. It’s the Suicide Girls who provide the film with its most exploitative elements, a fact spelled out by the always lovely Bijou Phillips. Montage is misogyny personified, and through the Girl’s butchered bare skin he revels in his hatred for women, or so her sentiments lead us to believe. Figuring out what’s really taking place on stage is all part of the movie’s charm.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5 (gore lots of fake blood)

Boobies Rating: 5 out of 5

Amina Munster

Amina Munster

Cricket DeManuel

Flux Suicide

Unknown Actress

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Cat People 1982

“Cat People” is old (1982), tired looking (I’ve yet to hear of a re-mastered release) and has a redundant, home organ sound track that drives me crazy. Yet, after all these years, this is still one of my all time favorite horror movies. Roger Ebert calls it a “Really well realized horror flick.” I’m not exactly sure I know what that means, but I think I agree. The film stars Malcolm McDowell as Paul Gallier and Nastassja Kinski as his sister, Irena. The crux of the story is based in a legion that says, “Eons ago there was a land where humans sacrificed their most beautiful women to leopards. The Leopards then mated with them. Cat People may look human, but they can only mate with other Cat People to sustain their life of a human who can transmorph into a leopard and back. Paul lives in New Orleans with a housekeeper who, knowing the reality of the legion, also acts as his protector and keeper. Irena, raised by foster parents, comes to be with brother but he senses her sexual awakenings and expects an incestuous relationship that will maintain the status quo. When his advances are rejected, a series of events are unleashed that has turned “Cat People” into a cult classic. Some call this a remake of a 1942 classic of the same name. I’ve seen both and disagree. Alan Ormsby did a complete reworking of the script going back to DeWitt Bodeen’s novel for his source material. In my opinion, except for the music, the 1982 version is not just a different motional picture, it’s a far superior motion picture. With McDowell at the height of his weird creepiness and Kinski at the height of her beauty.

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 4 out of 5

Annette O'Toole

lynn lowry

nastassja kinski

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Videodrome 1983

A truly remarkable film, Videodrome is sure to offend and irritate more people than it pleases, but for those of us who are on an eternal quest for something original, this one fits the bill perfectly. Oddly unknown given it’s influence on other films – it was squashed together with “The Sixth Sense” to make the film “The Ring,” and was virtually remade by Cronenberg as “Existenz” – it is a marvelously entertaining, disgusting, frustrating, confusing mess of a film that is tied together by a fitting, though deeply disturbing, ending. Woods gives maybe his best performance outside of “Salvador,” but the rest of the cast is adequate at best, and Harry seems to have been hired for her marketability (at the time) more than her talent. This one has ample doses of Cronenberg’s typical coldness, nihilism, and pitch-black humor, and this is probably the best archetype for his pictures. If you like him, you’ll love this. If you are offended by, well, pretty much anything, you probably want to pass on this as well as the rest of the directors’ films.

Horror Rating: 1 out of 5 Not much of a horror movie rather then a sci fi-however there is blood and there are boobs.

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Unknown Actress

Deborah Harry

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Screaming Dead 2003

Remember, these guys started out as a bunch of college kids who loved movies and ran around with a video camera making their own sexy slasher flicks. Finally they got someone with a few bucks to back this movie. They made a tidy sum doing sexy Showtime After Dark type movies until they were able to pull off their first attempt at a “mainstream” B movie. This is it. It’s not extremely scary, but it’s very dark and spooky. It’s also a rip-off of lots of other horror flicks (It’s almost an item by item copy of House on Haunted Hill), but if you go into with the idea of just having fun with it, it’s not all that bad. The opening 5 minutes introducing the main psycho character is awesome, and you never really figure this guy out. Is he just an artist, a pervert, or totally insane? You’ll never quite be sure. And Misty can strip and scream along with the very best of the B movie girls! There’s a lot worse things you can waste your 88 minutes on!

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

C.J. DiMarsico

Misty Mundae

Misty Mundae

Misty Mundae

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The Wicker Man 1973

Wickerman is one of the first horror movies I remember seeing as a kid, so I have a certain fondness for it. To my recollection, I can’t name another film that crept up one me the way this one did. Its one of those rare horror movies that has a solid story that progresses in a logical order and has you thinking, putting the pieces together one by one until the very end, at which point it drops you off the edge of a cliff and you can’t believe it. The great strength of this film is that its not really constructed as a typical horror movie. Some fans would debate on whether or not you can actually call it a horror movie. That decision is up to the individual viewer, but the film most definitely follows a traditional detective mystery plot. It involves a young girl who disappears on a provincial island off the Scottish mainland. The island’s residents are seemingly normal people, who just happen to be pagans and are none to pleased when Sgt. Howie (Edward Woodward, TVs “The Equalizer”) arrives from the mainland to investigate. As his search continues, he begins to realize that the pagan religion runs deeper than just the surface activities of the island’s May Day celebration. Can’t say too much more without spoiling it. Those who enjoy mysteries or horror movies with a solid plot and a nice slow build will really enjoy this. Gore is non-existent in this film, but you’d have to be pretty jaded not be a little undone by the film’s creepy atmosphere.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

Ingrid Pitt

Britt Ekland

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After Life 2009

Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloos feature-length directorial effort is high on star power and proposes an interesting premise, that of a woman who hovers between life and death and a mortician who is there to help her transition. The script, also by Wojtowicz-Vosloo, starts off incredibly uneven but picks up steam as it moves along thanks to the interaction between the young woman in question, played by Christina Ricci, and Liam Neesons mortician. Ricci has to carry her portions of the film while being in various states of undress for large chunks of time, and while that must have been a challenge for her she pulls it off while giving enough tilt to her performance to give the central question of the film–is Anna really dead?–some subtlety and suspense. Neeson for his part carries off a surprisingly difficult role with his usual ease. Under Neesons care, Eliot is at various times curmudgeonly, nurturing, calm and menacing, and he makes it all perfectly believable. On the flip side, Justin Long is horribly miscast as Annas grieving near-fiancee Paul. Long is a charming and likable actor, but here he is just not right for the role and he spends most of the time overacting. The biggest problem however is that the film can never really decide whether it is a supernatural thriller or a psychological one, and that murky status leaves After.Life hanging out to dry. The sudden, fevered pitch toward the climax is too off-kilter and while there are some interesting things that happen as the answers become clear, the plot falls into well-worn territory and becomes a rote exercise in staying firmly within the lines of the thriller genre. This is a film that has its moments and some will be satisfied with Riccis en masse showing of skin, but most will be left wanting more.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 (creepy)

Boobies Rating: 3 out of 5

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Red Sands 2009

Forget the Taliban, don’t mess with ancient statues when in the Middle East. These soldiers did and now a djinn is out to haunt them with their guilty deeds during the war. Almost the entire movie takes place in the house they are stationed in to monitor traffic on a desolate road. The movie is more of a psychological thriller or paranormal story than a straight horror flick. It was marginally okay despite being almost completely shot through a sepia tone filter. You will be happy to know that the U.S. now has the capability to blow up an entire house with one single hand grenade.

Horror Rating: 3 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 1 out of 5

Sarah Doolan

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Hellraiser 7 Deader

The first and second Hellraiser movies reeled me in because 1). The Cenobites were frighteningly beyond words. 2). The gore was unfathomable. I had never seen anyone lose their skin before or go on a mission to retrieve it! 3). I got my first peak into what I could only imagine hell would REALLY be like. After watching the first two movies I was even too paranoid to play with my Rubik’s Cube, lol. The series has deteriorated significantly enough since. Hellraiser VII: Deader started out promising. There is a scene near the beginning where the main character, a journalist named Amy, is in search of a woman associated with a cult that allegedly can bring people back to life after they commit suicide. Amy enters this woman’s apartment and there are a few genuinely sinister moments (remember the girl in the closet in The Ring and how revolting the house was in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre?). Unfortunately, the movie declines thereafter. The cult needs Amy to sacrifice herself so that the leader can conquer Pinhead’s domain. Since Amy refuses to willingly take her own life, she is stabbed by the leader and ends up in a limbo; wandering in-between worlds with a gaping wound in her chest that won’t stop bleeding. Then there’s a final showdown between the cult leader, Pinhead, and Amy (which realm will Amy select: Pinhead’s, or the cult’s, or?). Some of the makeup and lighting is poor, the Cenobites are barely seen (and not scary!), and what happened to Pinhead’s voice? In early movies he exuded a booming, menacing voice that sent shivers down my spine. Here he sounds like an elderly gentleman demanding a cup of tea (although he’s still a cool character!). Not a BAD movie, but not real scary either.

Horror Rating: 2 out of 5

Boobies Rating: 2 out of 5

Kari Wuhrer

Kari Wuhrer

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